Why Healing Is Not Linear (And That's Okay)
For a long time, I believed healing was supposed to look like progress in a straight line.
Day by day, better and better.
Less pain. More clarity.
No looking back.
But healing didn't work that way for me.
And once I accepted that, everything changed.
Healing Comes in Waves, Not Steps
Some days, I felt strong.
I laughed easily.
I felt hopeful.
I believed I was finally "over it."
Then, without warning, the heaviness returned.
Old memories resurfaced.
Familiar pain reappeared.
I wondered if I had undone all my progress.
I hadn't.
Healing moves in waves. It rises, falls, and rises again. Progress doesn't disappear just because pain revisits you.
Setbacks Are Not Failures
I used to see setbacks as proof that I was weak.
If I cried again, I thought I was failing.
If something triggered me, I felt ashamed.
If I missed what hurt me, I questioned my strength.
But setbacks don't erase healing.
They reveal where compassion is still needed.
Sometimes, going back is how you learn what still needs care.
You Can Be Healing and Hurting at the Same Time
This was one of the hardest truths to accept.
I thought healing meant not hurting anymore.
But healing often means:
- Feeling pain without being consumed by it
- Remembering without breaking
- Acknowledging wounds while still moving forward
You can be healing and still have bad days. Both can exist at once.
Growth Is Quiet and Easy to Miss
Healing rarely announces itself.
It shows up quietly:
- In the way you respond instead of react
- In the boundaries you hold
- In the moments you choose rest over self-punishment
You may not notice it while it's happening, but one day you'll realize you handle things differently than before.
That is growth.
Comparison Makes Healing Harder
Watching others "move on" made me question myself.
Why was I still hurting?
Why was it taking me so long?
Why did I feel behind?
Healing has no universal timeline.
Your pace is valid.
Your process is personal.
Your journey is yours alone.
Some Wounds Need More Than One Visit
There are parts of healing that require revisiting.
Not because you didn't heal properly the first time, but because you're meeting the pain with a new version of yourself.
Each time, you bring more awareness.
More strength.
More kindness.
That matters.
Healing Requires Gentleness, Not Pressure
I learned that healing responds better to patience than pressure.
You don't heal by forcing yourself to be okay.
You heal by allowing yourself to be human.
Rest is part of recovery.
Pauses are part of progress.
Self-compassion is not optional—it's essential.
If Your Healing Feels Messy Right Now
If your healing feels confusing, slow, or inconsistent, please hear this:
You are not doing it wrong.
Healing is not linear because life isn't either.
Every step counts—even the ones that feel like standing still.
You are allowed to take your time.
You are allowed to feel what you feel.
You are allowed to heal in your own way.
And one day, without realizing when it happened, you'll look back and see how far you've come.
Even if the path wasn't straight.